I have had the fortune of reading quite a lot of “Typical this and that..” lists lately. You know, typical Facebook profile pictures, typical Facebook status messages, typical people you meet at a cafe/bar, typical people in your class, and so on. Quick question: If doing everything is being ‘typical’, what exactly is being ‘atypical’? All the lists are exceptionally funny of course, and inspiring enough to make me come up with my own list of – wait for it – typical people! This list may be longer than most, but come on, the sample size is huge too, right!
1. The Parties-are-cool people: These people don’t say they like parties. They say parties are cool; not that I’m saying they aren’t. They even say parties are ‘correct’ at times, may be they’re just trying to solve some inner moral turmoil. Who knows? Never been there, never done that! And the funniest part is if you ever happen to tell them that you don’t like parties, they keep reciting the universal truth: ‘Parties are cool’, till you accept it. It goes something like this:
“Are you coming to the party?” “No…can’t” “But parties are cool” “I’m not a party-person” “That’s sad, parties are so cool.” “I bet, but I’d rather stay at home” “Are you sure? Parties are cool.” “I know. My mother won’t let me go. But I agree, parties are really cool.” “I know right? Parties are cool.”
True story. 🙂
2. The Obsessive-huggers: These are a class of giggling girls, who shriek “Heeeeeey” every time they see you and run to you and hug you.
Can’t…say….more….have to go puke.
3. The We-are-smart people: This is a huge, huge class of people, whose only goal in life is to inform the world of their intelligence. Most of them don’t possess any, but that’s not for me to decide! There is a slightly different class of people too, the ‘We-know-everything’ people; that group which coolly tells totally wrong “facts” with the air of a wise owl.
4. The We-watch-only-Bollywood/Hollywood-movies people: These people happen to hate people who like Bollywood/Hollywood, whichever it is that they don’t like! It is as if it were a matter of life and death, and liking or not liking Bollywood determines your level of patriotism. Very funny, I think. These class of people are quite similar to the ‘We-only-listen-to-English/Hindi-music’ people.
5. The We-hate-all-the-really-popular-stuff people: The people who think it is very cool and rebellious to hate Harry Potter or F.R.I.E.N.D.S or other ‘really popular stuff!!’
6. The In-Love people: These people cannot stop talking about love, and death and sadness and life and pain. And here I was thinking people in love are actually happy. Most of the people I know in this category are also the “We-love-anime-and-weird-looking-glittery-cartoons” people (this title is kind of self-explanatory!) Many of them are poets.
7. The We-love-dogs (a.k.a Cats-are-icky) people: These people deserve a special mention. It’s not just that they love dogs, that I can understand, but they happen to think that loving dogs is synonymous with hating cats. They walk past an adorable lab, and they say, “He’s so cute, I hate cats.” They walk past a skinny mongrel, and they say, “Aw, poor dog, I hate cats.” Cats and dogs are two very different animals people, not comparable. Totally unrelated. And equally good. It’s like comparing a pizza with a burger.
8. The We-read-a-lot people: That group of people who think reading the likes of ‘Bridget Jones’ Diary’ or ‘The Devil Wears Prada’ makes you a very literary person. Also, many of these are the classics-worshipers. Then there are those who club every thing other than the cheap chicklits available everywhere these days under ‘philosophical’ books. For them, philosophy is anything you don’t understand or anything that is boring. This class also includes the ‘My-language-‘rocks” people, the people who form long complicated sentences with a couple of obscure words exceeding four syllables; because how could you possibly write well without using big words, huh?
9. The Sarcastic/Indifferent people: These are the people who are great observers and have the knack of spotting all the ‘typical’ things in the world. Then they painstakingly write up long lists, with their eyes screwed up in concentration so as not to accidentally miss mentioning a particular class of people. When they’re done, they sit back and read their masterpieces with a smirk on their faces, and secretly giggle at how smart they are (or may be that’s only me?) Most of these people ‘don’t care’ about the world.
Forgive me if I forgot to mention the people like ‘you’, how ever you are. My list is hardly over, but I am just too damn sleepy to continue right now. Not to worry though, there are so many lists on the web, you’ll find yourself in one sooner or later. It’s hard to do anything anymore without getting shoved into some category, isn’t it?
**This came as a very pleasant surprise 🙂